The title of today's blog posts (unlike some of my more opaque ones, where I'm channeling my inner Emo-song-title-writing self) is pretty self explanatory! As a leadership consultant, exec coach, team coach, facilitator, speaker and trainer, I go into businesses or work one-on-one with leaders and, from time to time, when the individuals I'm working with are not those who reached out and solicited my services, there can initially be some scepticism, fear and even hostility.
"I've been in this business for twenty years, what can you tell me about how to run it?"
In the early days of doing this kind of work, inside a large corporate, I heard this sort of thing a LOT! The bank had no history of exec coaching or 121 leadership development, except in small pockets and at the upper rungs of the structure chart, so whenever this sort of thing was suggested or presented, people looked at it as though it was remedial. They presumed that someone in the organisation had deemed that they weren't a good manager or leader and therefore brought in someone to to tell them how to do it better. Naturally, this got the individual's back up and they often responded by showing some kind of threat response which, as I'm sure you'll appreciate, is not a great basis on which to start a relationship with them!
Since I've had my own practice and left the corporate world, this sort of thing is less common, but I certainly still encounter pockets of it. A CEO or an HR department brings in my services and they've perhaps not positioned it well (or at all) with the individual or team who I'm going to be working directly with, leading to that initial conflict. That really slows up the progress we're able to make, because as well as getting to know the leader and developing the trust and psychological safety that is so important in the work I do, I have spend the first part of the engagement overcoming that fear and scepticism.
So if I don't come in and tell you how to lead, what do I do?
Well first and foremost, I give people the opportunity to reflect. To hold up the mirror to a leader (and that's not just a leader in the workplace, the ripples from the work I do can impact every area of a client's life) and allow them time and space to think about how they're showing up, what impact they're having, what outcomes they're delivering, what kind of environment they're creating and all other aspects of what it means to be a leader. Too often, we're so busy doing things that we don't have (or create) the time to look at those things objectively and how or why we're doing what we're doing. We have habits and patterns and routines which we've picked up from others or carried since childhood and we deploy these over and over again without thinking. And of course, some of these serve us well; but others less so. By taking the time to stop and step off the treadmill, even for just an hour at a time, a leader is given the space to examine these and to identify where they might want to take a different approach and how to do it.
And that's the really important thing here - the LEADER is the one who decides how and where to change. It's not possible to change someone who doesn't want to; who doesn't recognise areas in which they could be more effective or get different outcomes or be more impactful or compassionate or inspiring. There are so many ways in which each of us can take a fresh approach and show up differently and have a different impact on those around us - but if we don't want to change or we don't see the need to, the chance of that happening is close to zero.
Once that reflection has happened and the leader has recognised an opportunity, then the door is open for them to walk through. My job is to be alongside them as they do so, whether signposting resources when I'm delivering training, or holding space for them to do the deeper work in coaching. They get to decide the type of leader they want to be (and that might be informed by feedback they've received or by the needs of the organisation) and I'm here to help them realise that and to reflect on the journey with them and to celebrate their progress.
Some advice for those who bring external leadership consultants, coaches and trainers (or even engage the services of internal ones!) into your business; the way in which you position what we do and why we've been engaged is FUNDAMENTAL to the success of the engagement. If you surprise someone or you create an environment where they feel under threat, they are much less likely to be engaged and receptive and therefore much less likely to do the work and achieve the outcomes that you were reaching for at the outset. Ultimately, that can render your investment wasted. Be open and honest, make sure the feedback you give them has been regular and supported with evidence so they recognise both the need and the opportunity in front of them.
And for those who find themselves on the receiving end of training or coaching which they didn't ask for and perhaps didn't get warned was coming; the best advice that I can give is to assume positive intent. Development isn't just an activity, it's a mindset, so rather than taking the high ego position and asking 'what can this person teach me?!' reframe it into an opportunity. An investment in you, an chance for reflection and self exploration and space for you to grow and develop on the road to becoming the very best version of yourself.
I'd love to hear your thoughts and if any of this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you!
Comments