These last few months I've been on a bit of a tear of listening to rock'n'roll autobiographies. I've found that while I can read books on any subject, when it comes to listening to audiobooks while I'm walking, driving or working in the garden, there are only a small number of genres of book which maintain my attention and prevent my mind from wandering off and missing half the contents! One of genres types is the autobiography, particularly when it's read by the author and so that realisation has sent me down a rabbit hole! The author doesn't matter. I just find the format interesting. In 2024 I've devoured the self-told stories of wrestler Shawn Michaels, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vic Reeves, Bob Mortimer, Britney Spears, Crystal Hefner (former wife of the late Playboy mogul, Hugh), legendary drug dealer Freeway Rick Ross, comedian Joey Diaz and actor Matthew McConoughey before moving onto my rock'n'roll section! I started with late Screaming Trees vocalist Mark Lanegan, then read the tales of Elton John, Rod Stewart and most recently to Bruce Springsteen.
Naturally, they vary significantly in quality and in the extent to which they attempt to paint the subject in a positive light, but most contain a good mix of humour, shock value, storytelling and, occasionally some wisdom along the way. Not that I'm suggesting you should be taking all of your life advice from wholesale cocaine dealers and comedians, but from time to time there's something which stops you in your tracks and gets you thinking about an aspect of your own life, work or relationships.
One such moment came in Born to Run, the 2016 autobiography of Bruce Springsteen. I've long been a huge fan of his music and had a rough idea about his history but the book really opened my eyes to his experiences and inspirations and it was one of the most enjoyable I've taken in. He is very open about his challenges and flaws and it's no surprise that it was so successful when it was released, not just in terms of sales but in terms of its crossover into the Springsteen on Broadway show which it spawned. One passage in particular, caught my attention and required me to skip back and listen again. Talking about live music, he said the following:
"People don’t come to rock shows to learn something. They come to be reminded of something they already know and feel deep down in their gut. That's when the world is at its best"
Having attended a LOT of rock shows I spent a lot of time ruminating on that from the perspective of an audience member, but then I realised why the quote had stuck with me - and it had nothing to do at all with rock'n'roll and everything to do with my work!
You see, that quote could be applied not only to rock shows, but also to coaching sessions. Coaching sessions aren't designed to teach you something new, they're there to help you rediscover things that you already knew about yourself, but had to dig deep down inside to find. Hidden in the weeds and rubble and mysteries that lie within each of us are the insights and ideas and answers that we require - we just need to create the right environment and be faced with the right questions to allow us to find them.
I had an excellent session yesterday afternoon, with a new client who, at the end of our hour together, shared the insight that she'd discovered during our coaching that the 'problem' she'd brought to the session was not in fact the problem at all and that she was actually quite comfortable with that particular issue. The real problem was something quite different and now, by having uncovered that fact, which she already knew about herself but had lost sight of, she had the opportunity to really lean into it and start looking for the answers and direction that she needs to move forward.
It's a remarkable thing to bear witness to or to have a hand in supporting. Seeing someone pause and sweep aside with their words, a lie they've carried with them or a story they've been telling themself, sometimes for years and watching them come face to face with something really meaningful is an experience that I'll never tire of. And it's something that I think a lot of people don't appreciate about executive coaching. Many people still carry the misconception a coach is there to teach you or give you the answers, but it's only on very rare occasions that you'll be offered a suggestion or idea and even then, it's done lightly and with no expectation that you'll take it onboard. I have coached many many clients over my eleven years in this role and I would guess that over 95% of them are doing jobs I've never done and many are in roles at levels of their organisations which are far higher than the level I attained in my corporate career. It would rarely be beneficial or even possible for me to give them answers or tell them what to do next. They know their role and their challenges far better than I ever will!
True coaching is simply the holding of space in which the client can explore and find the answers they're already carrying, through questioning, reflecting back and finding the sweet spot where support and challenge meet. Sometimes you can get creative with your approach, other times it's relatively straightforward in comparison, but just like Bruce said, it allows that client to be reminded or something that they already know and feel, deep down in their gut.
If you're feeling stuck and think coaching might help, find a coach you gel with and give it a try. And if you think that coach might be me, please reach out. I'd love to hear from you!
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